Throwback Thursday: The Pokemon Burn Book

If Pokemon went to high school…

THE PLASTICS:

That one there, that’s Eevee. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. I say next to her in English last year. She asked me how to spell orange.

That little one, that’s Vulpix. She’s totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels. Vulpix knows everybody’s business, she knows everything about everyone. That’s why her hair is so big, it’s full of secrets.

Evil takes a human form in Ninetails. Don’t be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she’s so much more than that. She’s the queen bee – the star, those other two are just her little workers. She’s fabulous, but she’s evil.

One night, the plastics got together and created a book describing all the other Pokemon. They called it… The Burn Book. Here is it:

Hitmonchan: DYKE.

Clefairy: Fat virgin.

Lickitung: Made out with a hot dog.

Jigglypuff is a grotsky, little byotch.

Persian made out with Mr. Mime!

And so did Weedle! (so that’s where those red bumps are from…)

Meowth: Gap toothed bitch.

Slowbro: Too gay to function.

Chansey: Lying about being a virgin. She uses super-jumbo tampons., so duh — not a virgin.

Oddish: Tried to sell me marijuana and ecstasy tablets. A REAL PUSHER.

Jynx: This girl is the nastiest skank bitch I’ve ever met. Do not trust her. She is a fugly slut!