It’s slightly terrifying. I don’t care how ready you think you are or how acclimated to alcohol high school made you—turning 21 when you’re a St. Patrick’s Day baby is unreal. I like to think of myself as an old soul. I got the partying out of my system pretty early in life, so by the time my 21st birthday rolled around, I wasn’t really interested in getting wasted. This didn’t stop almost everyone in my life from harassing me all day. After all, it was St. Patrick’s Day.
Celebrating your birthday on St. Patrick’s Day – whether it’s your 21st, 25th, 30th, or whatever – will always be a shit show, no matter what. Here are 6 things you’ll only understand if you’ve been forced to celebrate your birthday on the drinking holiday, like me.
1. Everywhere you go, alcohol is shoved in your face, even if you don’t want it.
It’s bad enough to turn 21 in general, but doing it on the one day a year dedicated to getting wasted? There’s no way you can make it out alive.
2. Literally everyone buys you shots. And you have to take them.
Shots on the house, shots from friends, shots from coworkers…I’m a small girl, and I started to believe that these people were genuinely trying to murder me. I took a few, but like I said: I wasn’t trying to get wasted. The rest of the night, I felt like I was on a mission to stay sober.
The worst part is, I couldn’t really let anyone know what I was up to because they were all wasted themselves. I had a feeling if I confessed I wanted to stay sober, they’d pick me up and shove a beer funnel down my throat or something. Instead, I strategically handed off shots to people seated next to me. When they asked where the shot came from, I’d act really confused and then insist that they had ordered it. I actually pulled this off.
3. All eyes aren’t really on you.
I’m a complete ham, especially on my birthday. I want everyone there for me, looking at me, talking to me, buying me presents, adorning me with crowns and sashes…this doesn’t happen on St. Patrick’s Day. Everyone is too wrapped up getting wasted because this is a holiday for them, not just your birthday. It’s sort of a buzzkill, but at least we don’t have to share our birthday with Jesus like Christmas babies. You know, just with a small dude with a pot of gold.
4. You get to pinch a bunch of drunk people.
I have to admit, this got a whole lot better once I turned 21. Pinching sober people isn’t nearly as fun as pinching a bunch of people who are blasted out of their minds and not wearing green. I have no complaints for this one—what could be better than being allowed to pinch people on your birthday?
5. People assume you’re Irish.
Combine drunken minds with the fact that it’s your birthday and people will assume your Irish. Because that makes sense. All Irish people were born on March 17.
6. You get hit on way more than the average girl on St. Patrick’s Day.
Based solely on the fact that you are the Birthday Bitch. This is either a great thing or super annoying, depending on who you are.
Don’t get me wrong—I had a lot of fun on my 21st birthday. However, it should be noted that I did spend the entire night fighting off alcohol poisoning. The moral of the story is this: If you’re the type who likes to binge just because you can, then being born on St. Patrick’s Day is an absolute blessing. But if you’re like me and you prefer to enjoy things in moderation, you’ll spend your birthday dodging Jell-O shots and tequila-flavored gummy bears. Either way, it’s a good time.
