1. Bring a long trench-coat or peacoat out with you. That way, if you have to walk home the next morning, the coat will hide most of your outfit, and just make you look stylish. If it’s Summer, you’re pretty much screwed if you wear a slutty dress out. The least you can do is channel your inner fashionista and turn your ‘evening outfit’ into a cute, casual daytime outfit (aka bring a cardigan and maybe some safety pins).

2. Bring flats or wear boots (or sandals if its summer). At H&M this weekend I saw “walk home shoes,” and if the reason you’re not bringing heel-less shoes out is because all you’re bringing out is a clutch/wristlet/small cross body bag… these will fit in your small bag. Promise.

yes, they fold into that little bag.

3. Bring sunglasses. Big sunglasses. They’ll cover your makeup-free or makeup-full eyes.

4. As long as you have the long coat on, you will just look like you are going to/coming from a religious event, a fancy brunch, or an interview. Be sure to pretend to talk loudly on the phone to a friend about how your “interview” went or how excited you are for your “cousin’s bar mitzvah.”

5. Stick foundation & eyeliner in your bag… That’s all I really need if I’m looking hungover and gross. Both are small and both will fit.

6. Always make sure you have a hair elastic on your wrist or in your bag/clutch… Your hair may look like a disaster the morning after, but an elastic will do magic. (A headband is always good too – you know, one of those gym headbands you can get at CVS & Target in black, white, green, navy, etc)

7. Keep at least one stick of gum in your bag. I doubt you’ll bring your toothbrush and want to use the boy’s toothpaste… SO gum should at least cure your morning breath.

8. Bring a travel sized deodorant OR put perfume in a travel sized bottle (both you can get at Target… and other places too I’m sure, but I’m biased and love Target). Not only will this help you smell good (and not like sex & cologne) the morning after, but what if you start to sweat and smell at the bar/club the night before?? It’s better to be safe & smell good than sorry. Plus, if you start to smell, you might not be going home with anyone anyway.


9. Maybe stick a scarf in your bag to hide any future hickeys… This may be a little ambitious of you, thinking that you’re definitely going to end up with a guy tonight, and he’s definitely going to give you a hickey, SO maybe only do this if you KNOW you’re going home with someone!

10. Does your phone battery suck? Are you constantly on the internet checking facebook, sending emails, and sending texts? Bring your phone charger. Who knows what time you’ll wake up, where you’ll be, and most importantly where your friends and keys are.

**This was one of my first (and favorite) articles written for Forever Twenty Somethings. I posted it almost a year ago. Time flies!**


Hi I’m Sam. I made this website in 2011 and it’s still here! I'm the author of the humorous self-help book AVERAGE IS THE NEW AWESOME. I like pizza, French fries, barre, spin, more pizza, more French fries, and buying clothes. Follow me on twitter & Instagram at @samanthamatt1... and on this site's meme account on IG at @averagepeopleproblems. OKAY GREAT THANKS BYE.

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