I was well aware of the fact I was becoming older, but it wasn’t until my 15 year old brother corrected me on what this one phrase listed below actually meant that I realized how old I actually was. Like, I wasn’t in high school yesterday. I wasn’t even in college yesterday. I am twenty-fucking-six. And although I’d like to think I’m hip and cool, I don’t think that’s the case anymore.
It’s like, when did I become so… out of touch? The world is a different place now guys.
Below you will find a variety of different abbreves and phrases — and then what WE think these things mean versus what these things actually mean to today’s teenage youths. LIFE IS MOVING TOO QUICKLY, MAKE IT STOP.
AF
Us: Abercrombie & Fitch
Youths: An abbreve for: “As Fuck” … Example:
Bae
Us: A cool way to say “babe” … or a different way to spell “Bey,” which is obv short for Beyonce.
Youths: An abbreve standing for: “Before anyone else.” Literally. That’s what it means. WHO KNEW?!?!
Justin Timberlake
Us: The king of music. And also, the hottest member of Nsync. And also, Britney’s ex.
Youths: Some guy who sings slow songs. No, kids don’t associate JT with Nsync. They don’t even know what Nsync is.
Turnt
Us: The wrong way to spell “turned.” Like, as in the the thing this car is doing here:
Youths: GETTING HASHTAG WASTED.
Doe
Us: That annoying thing Homer Simpson says… DOH! Or… a deer. A female deer.
Youths: A cool way to say “though.” Everyone’s doing it. Even Obama.
I can’t even.
Us: You LITERALLY can’t do something. For example:
Youths: You can’t deal. You can’t believe it. You just CAN’T. You’re basically just exaggerating. And you are also probably using “literally” incorrectly while you’re at it.
YAAAAASSSSSS
Us: The birth control that gave people Gallstones? (lol, Yaz)
Youths: A cool way to say “yes.”
Hashtag
Us: The symbol you type before hashtagging something on social media.
Youth: A verbal way to be funny because you speak Internet.
Vamp
Us: An abbreve for vampire
Youths: Soaking a tampon in vodka and… you know… WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE
Ratchet
Us: A tool? Or something? Idk. This:
Youths: We have no idea. We think it means “cool,” but again – no idea. This is where we draw the line. What has happened to the world?
